How to Deal With Excessively Needy Friends
How to Break Away From an Overbearing Friend. Step 1. Communicate your feelings, with a positive approach. Communication can be the most effective way to clarify how you feel and how your friend's Step 2. Step 3. Step 4. How to Break Away From an Overbearing Friend. Set Boundaries. If your friend insists on knowing the calorie count of your lunch, and you're tired of her nutritional nagging, say something like, Eliminate Guilt. Be Firm. Frank Discussion.
The line between being a good friend and being an overbearing one is thin. Friends can be an essential part of life: closer than family, much-needed support during hard times and the best confidants.
True friends are hard to find, so when one of them finally enters your life, you want to make sure that they feel how important they are.
But, what happens when a friend needs more time than there is available? What happens when every text is an emergency text, and grudges are held when those texts are not immediately replied to? The issue in these friendships can be summarized in one word: dependency. Dependent people are those who cannot leave their comfort zone. In friendships, dependent friends are the ones who always need to be with their best mate. It might be hard to separate dependent friends from super close friends at the start.
They can also be seen as friends who simply need a lot of support to get through the hardships in their lives. The closest experience I have had with dependent friends was through my youngest sister. A couple of years ago, she became the friend of a girl in her class. At the beginning, they had lots of fun hanging out, talking about the things they had in common—which were a lot—and constantly relied on one another for help with homework or how to remove freehub body typical teenage drama.
It seemed like a regular high school friendship. But, things started to change when my sister started going to extracurricular classes somewhere else, where of course, she made more friends. As a result, passive aggression became part of their daily routines, until finally one day they had to confront the issue. This is not the goal of solving the overly clingy or possessive friend issue. Though it may become clear that your friend is taking too much of your time, cutting the opportunities to meet new people, holding grudges about the time spent with others and refusing to enter any opportunity to socialize without the close company of their BFF, this might not be as evident to the person with the problem.
Again, no one wants to be the bad friend. But then, does this mean that the issue of reliance should just be pushed aside? Would there be any consequences to overlooking the cons of having a clingy friend? The reason why extremely clingy friendships are so toxic is because they decrease the chances for the people involved to live their own unique experiences. In a way, this amounts to cutting out a small piece of our how to make a bike go faster that will never come back.
The dependent friend will never get to experience life outside of the comfort zone what i had to do ben pearce they have found with their BFF, and the BFF will never get to do all the things they want to do.
To sum up, this type of friendship is unfair to both parties. Rather than avoiding talking about how strangling things are becoming in the friendship, it would be better to show them that they can be okay on their own too.
Encouraging a clingy friend to enter conversations or join plans that involve strangers can be tricky, but surely not impossible. Introducing them to new things, situations, and people with whom they have things in common can help them open up and allow new and beneficial experiences into their lives. After all, no one is born joined to the hip with their best friend.
How to Deal With Overbearing Personalities. • Put them in charge. The truth is that most people are not great at leading others or organizing themselves. If there’s an event that needs managing, • Offer up the floor. For the times that you’re forced to be with them, it’s worth keeping the peace. Mar 26, · The Best Way to Deal With Controlling People No one should have to fit someone else's reality. There's a way out. Posted Mar 26, SHARE. TWEET. EMAIL. 42 COMMENTS. Oct 24, · Here are nine steps that can help in dealing with this type of individual: Work hard to recognize the personality style of those who come across as dominant people. Try to see life from the dominant person’s perspective. Do not allow your opinion to be de-valued by a dominant loveescortus.comted Reading Time: 2 mins.
Friendships can be rewarding, supportive and enduring. According to the Mayo Clinic staff, good friends have the capacity to lift your mood, reduce stress and make you generally happier. Unfortunately, some friends have the opposite effect, making demands on your time and energy that end up being detrimental to your well-being. Overbearing friends, in contrast to healthy ones, can stress and depress you, because they dominate you and the friendship you share. Ending these kinds of toxic friendships can be a challenge because these individuals may have a very different perception of their behavior than you have.
Communicate your feelings, with a positive approach. Communication can be the most effective way to clarify how you feel and how your friend's behavior is affecting you. Start with something positive, such as a positive and factual trait that you admire in her. After you've established a more positive feel to the conversation, explain the overbearing behaviors that your friend is specifically performing and how they make your feel.
Don't infer meaning or intention behind your friend's action, because this can change the dynamics between you in the conversation. Explain that you can't continue to sustain the friendship because it simply isn't healthy for you.
The boundaries have been established verbally. Now it's time to reinforce them behaviorally. Initially, your now ex-friend will likely protest your decision vehemently by trying just about all approaches to communicate. If this doesn't occur, then you've achieved your goal and broken away, but the reality is that someone who is overbearing needs other people to dominate, so your former friend may continue to struggle to keep the relationship, and not because she truly values you as a friend.
Remember that you have provided an explanation and you aren't obligated to reiterate it, so don't respond to communication once you have explained that the friendship is over. Find opportunities to connect with other people who aren't overbearing.
Whether you seek friendships at work or at your favorite activity, you can find opportunities to initiate and nurture healthier friendships that aren't built on the inequality that is characteristic of overbearing friendships.
Be selective about individuals you might consider nurturing into friends and remain aware of behaviors that are characteristic of overbearing tendencies. These can include attempts to control you, frequent and unexplained mood changes and using anger to control your behavior. These characteristics typically become evident fairly quickly in a friendship and can begin even before you have established that you are friends at all. Expect that you might lose other friends when you break away from an overbearing friend.
People who are overbearing may also share friends with you who aren't comfortable breaking the bonds of friendship. While their dynamics may work, remain confident that they don't work for you and stand firm on your ground. The friends over whom the overbearing person maintains her control will choose sides and you may be left standing independently for awhile. The upswing is that you also have the opportunity for a fresh start, without an overbearing friend and without people who encourage her behavior.
Maura Banar has been a professional writer since and is a psychotherapist. By: Maura Banar. Step 1 Communicate your feelings, with a positive approach.
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